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कल जब मैं मर जाऊँगा (#Aalokry)

कल जब मैं मर जाऊँगा। तब तुम मेरे लिए आंसू बहाआगे  पर मुझे पता नही चलेगा तो  उसके बजाय  आज तुम मेरी इम्पॉर्टन्टस को महसूस क...

28 February 2013


5 चीजें  जो  आपको  नहीं  करनी  चाहिए  और  क्यों ?

 1) दूसरे  की  बुराई  को  enjoy करना 
ये  तो  हम  बचपन  से  सुनते  आ  रहे  हैं  की  दुसरे  के  सामने  तीसरे  की  बुराई  नहीं  करनी  चाहिए , पर  एक और  बात  जो  मुझे  ज़रूरी  लगती  है  वो  ये  कि  यदि  कोई  किसी  और  की  बुराई  कर  रहा  है  तो  हमें  उसमे  interest नहीं  लेना  चाहिए  और  उसे  enjoy नहीं  करना  चाहिए . अगर  आप  उसमे  interest दिखाते  हैं  तो  आप  भी  कहीं  ना  कहीं  negativity को  अपनी  ओर  attract करते  हैं . बेहतर  तो  यही  होगा  की  आप  ऐसे  लोगों  से  दूर  रहे  पर  यदि  साथ  रहना  मजबूरी  हो  तो  आप  ऐसे  topics पर  deaf and dumb हो  जाएं  , सामने  वाला  खुद  बखुद  शांत  हो  जायेगा . For example यदि  कोई  किसी  का  मज़ाक  उड़ा रहा  हो  और  आप  उस पे  हँसे  ही  नहीं  तो  शायद  वो  अगली  बार  आपके  सामने  ऐसा  ना  करे . इस  बात  को  भी  समझिये  की  generally जो  लोग  आपके  सामने  औरों  का  मज़ाक  उड़ाते  हैं  वो  औरों  के  सामने  आपका  भी  मज़ाक  उड़ाते  होंगे . इसलिए  ऐसे  लोगों  को  discourage करना  ही  ठीक  है .
2) अपने  अन्दर  को  दूसरे  के  बाहर  से  compare करना 
इसे  इंसानी  defect कह  लीजिये  या  कुछ  और  पर  सच  ये  है  की  बहुत  सारे  दुखों  का  कारण  हमारा  अपना  दुःख  ना  हो  के  दूसरे   की  ख़ुशी  होती  है . आप  इससे  ऊपर  उठने  की  कोशिश  करिए , इतना  याद  रखिये  की  किसी  व्यक्ति  की  असलियत  सिर्फ  उसे  ही  पता  होती  है , हम  लोगों  के  बाहरी यानि नकली रूप  को  देखते  हैं  और  उसे  अपने  अन्दर के यानि की असली  रूप  से  compare करते  हैं . इसलिए  हमें लगता  है  की  सामने  वाला  हमसे  ज्यादा  खुश  है , पर  हकीकत  ये  है  की  ऐसे  comparison का  कोई  मतलब  ही  नहीं  होता  है . आपको  सिर्फ  अपने  आप  को  improve करते  जाना  है और व्यर्थ की comparison नहीं करनी है.
3) किसी  काम  के  लिए  दूसरों  पर  depend करना 
मैंने  कई  बार  देखा  है  की  लोग  अपने  ज़रूरी काम  भी  बस  इसलिए  पूरा  नहीं  कर  पाते क्योंकि  वो  किसी  और  पे  depend करते  हैं . किसी  व्यक्ति  विशेष  पर  depend मत  रहिये . आपका  goal; समय  सीमा  के  अन्दर  task का  complete करना  होना चाहिए  , अब  अगर  आपका  best  friend तत्काल  आपकी  मदद  नहीं  कर  पा  रहा  है  तो  आप  किसी  और  की  मदद  ले  सकते  हैं , या  संभव  हो  तो  आप  अकेले  भी  वो  काम  कर  सकते  हैं .
ऐसा  करने  से  आपका  confidence बढेगा , ऐसे  लोग  जो  छोटे  छोटे  कामों  को  करने  में  आत्मनिर्भर  होते  हैं  वही  आगे  चल  कर  बड़े -बड़े  challenges भी  पार  कर  लेते  हैं , तो  इस  चीज  को  अपनी  habit में  लाइए  : ये  ज़रूरी  है की  काम  पूरा  हो  ये  नहीं  की  किसी  व्यक्ति  विशेष  की  मदद  से  ही  पूरा  हो .
4) जो बीत गया  उस  पर  बार  बार  अफ़सोस  करना
अगर  आपके  साथ  past में  कुछ  ऐसा  हुआ  है  जो  आपको  दुखी  करता  है  तो  उसके  बारे  में  एक  बार  अफ़सोस  करिए…दो  बार  करिए….पर  तीसरी  बार  मत  करिए . उस  incident से जो सीख  ले  सकते  हैं  वो  लीजिये  और  आगे  का  देखिये . जो  लोग  अपना  रोना  दूसरों  के  सामने  बार-बार  रोते  हैं  उसके  साथ  लोग  sympathy दिखाने  की  बजाये उससे कटने  लगते  हैं . हर  किसी  की  अपनी  समस्याएं  हैं  और  कोई  भी  ऐसे  लोगों  को  नहीं  पसंद  करता  जो  life को  happy बनाने  की  जगह  sad बनाए . और  अगर  आप  ऐसा  करते  हैं  तो  किसी  और  से  ज्यादा  आप ही  का  नुकसान  होता  है . आप  past में  ही  फंसे  रह  जाते  हैं , और  ना  इस  पल  को  जी  पाते  हैं  और  ना  future के  लिए  खुद  को prepare कर  पाते  हैं .
5) जो  नहीं  चाहते  हैं  उसपर  focus करना 
सम्पूर्ण ब्रह्मांड में हम जिस चीज पर ध्यान केंद्रित करते हैं उस चीज में आश्चर्यजनक रूप से वृद्धि होती है.  इसलिए   आप  जो  होते  देखना  चाहते  हैं  उस  पर  focus करिए , उस  बारे  में  बात  करिए  ना  की  ऐसी  चीजें  जो  आप  नहीं  चाहते  हैं . For example: यदि  आप अपनी  income बढ़ाना  चाहते  हैं  तो  बढती  महंगाई  और  खर्चों  पर  हर  वक़्त  मत  बात  कीजिये  बल्कि  नयी  opportunities और  income generating ideas पर  बात  कीजिये .
इन  बातों पर  ध्यान  देने  से  आप  Self Improvement के  रास्ते  पर  और  भी  तेजी  से  बढ़ पायेंगे  और  अपनी  life को  खुशहाल  बना  पायेंगे . All the best. :)

Mujhe itni fursat kahan ki main taqdeer ka likha dekhun


Mujhe itni fursat kahan ki main taqdeer ka likha dekhun ?
Bas mere apno ki muskurahat dekh kar hi samajh jata hu ki meri taqdeer buland hai………………..

27 February 2013


Shiv Yog Foundation

Namah shivay............... 

Official Website: http://www.shivyog.com/

Official Blog http://www.fromthemaster.com/

Official email address:
shivyogfoundation@gmail.com

Official Twitter handle
 https://twitter.com/shivyoglive

Official facebook page:
 http://www.facebook.com/shivyogfoundation

Official YouTube channel:
 http://www.youtube.com/shivyoglive

Official Google plus ID:
 https://plus.google.com/u/0/103472917718924902186

26 February 2013



Secret....................


When you ask for happiness and a fantastic life, ask not just for you, but for
 everyone. When you ask for something better to come into your life, ask not
 just for you, but for everyone. By all means ask for avalanches of abundance,
 ask for fantastic relationships, ask for amazing health for you, but why not also
ask for those things to be given to everyone?
Can you imagine what would happen if six billion people asked for these things 
for you?




SMILEEEEEEE :);):):):):)

Professor khaali plate mein roti dubo kr kha rha tha…
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Waiter: Aap ye kia kr rhe ho??
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Prof: Hum maths Teacher hain,

Hum ne daal suppose ki hui hai :)
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Girl: Chalo main chupti hu tum mujhe dhundna.

Agar dhund liya to hum shoping chalenge -.-

Boy: Agar nahi dhunda to?
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Girl: Aisa mat kaho na jaanu main darwaze ke piche hi chupungi :
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PM to Secretary:"Jab se me PM
Bana Hu Meri Maa ko Hichki
Bahut Aati Hai..

Secretary:"Actualy Sir....,
.
Petrol ke daam badhne se Log
Aapki Maa Ko Bahut Yaad Karte
Hai...
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Master: Tumne Homework Nahi Kiya, Bolo Kya Saza Du?
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BOY: Woh First seat ki ladki ne bhi Nahi Kiya, Hum Dono ko , Bathroom Me Band Kar do.




19 February 2013


GRATITUDE......


If you want to attract a better job or anything better than what you currently have, it is important to understand how the law of attraction works.
You know that to bring something better you must imagine what that better thing looks like in your mind, and then live in that picture as though it is here now. But you should also know that if you complain about your current job, for example, and continue to focus on all the negative things, you will never bring the better job to you. You must look for the things to be grateful for in your current job. Each thing you find to be grateful for is helping to bring that better job to you……….










18 February 2013

Always Think Positive...........



You have to be happy now to bring happiness into your life through the law of attraction. It's a simple formula: happiness attracts happiness. Yet people use so many excuses as to why they can't be happy. They use excuses of debt, excuses of health, excuses of relationships, and all sorts of excuses as to why they can't use this simple formula. But the formula is the law.
No matter what the excuse, unless you begin to feel happy, you cannot attract more happiness. The law of attraction is saying to you, "Be happy now, and as long as you keep doing that, I will fill your day with a continuous stream of people, events, and circumstances that will bring you happiness." Does that sound like a fair deal?


16 February 2013

POWER OF MAHA MRITUNJAYA MANTRA..........

महामत्युंजय साधना और मेरा दुसरा अनुभव–Dinesh Misra
मैने पूर्व मे आपके बीच अपना पहला अनुभव रखा था तब उसमे ये उल्लेख किया था कि मेरा और एक अनुभव है जिसको मै आगे बताउगा क्योकि उस समय मै पूर्ण रूप से उसको परख रहा था

मेरे घर मे बहुत सी परेशानिया थी उनमे से एक परेशानी थी मेरी वाइफ के ओवरियन सिस्ट ( ovarian cyst ) थी जब शादी हुई तब मुझे मालुम चला कि मेरी वाइफ के यह प्राब्लम १५ साल से है उसका इलाज भी कराया लेकिन कोई फायदा नही हुआ शादी के बाद मैने भी काफी इलाज कराया लेकिन उसमे कोई फायदा नही हुआ मैने इस ग्रुप मे एक पोस्ट भी कि जिसमे इस प्राब्लम के लिए कोई साधना पूछी थी उसमे किसी भाई ने भैरव साधना की बात कही थी लेकिन पता नही क्यो मुझे भैरव साधना से डर लगता है इस लिए मै उस साधना को न कर सका फिर मैने अपनी वाइफ को कसम देकर भगवान महामत्युंजय का त्रयाक्षरी मंत्र " ओम ह्रौंम जूं सः " का जाप शुरू कराया और कहा कि ३१ माला रोज करो चूंकि मुझे इसका कोई विधान तो मालूम नही था इस लिए जो मुझे समझ मे आया वो मैने समझा कर कराने की कसम दे कर शुरू करवाया और खद भी शुरू किया और ३ माह निरन्तर कराया उस बीच कई बार मेरी और मेरी वाइफ की कहासुनी भी हुई लेकिन हमदोनो ने निरन्तर इस जाप को शुरू रखा और उसके बाद जब आल्टसाउण्ड कराया तो ओवरियन सिस्ट नही आया लेकिन हम तब भी ये मान रहे थे कि होसकता है आल्टसाउण्ड गलत आया हो अब जब तक उसको cross examine न करा ले तब तक किसी से नही बताना चाह रहे थे अब दोबारा आल्टसाउण्ड कराया है लेकिन उसमे भी नही आया
आज फिर महामत्युंजय भगवान की कृपा हमपर हुई इसके लिए उनका कोटि कोटि बार धन्यवाद और यह प्रार्थना भी है कि वे इसी प्रकार मुझ अकिंचन पर और आप सब पर अपनी कृपा बनाये रखे

जय भगवान महामत्युंजय , जय गुरूदेव
जय भगवान महामत्युंजय , जय गुरूदेव
जय भगवान महामत्युंजय , जय गुरूदेव
जय भगवान महामत्युंजय , जय गुरूदेव
जय भगवान महामत्युंजय , जय गुरूदेव

14 February 2013

Happy valentine's day all my shivyogis swt grlz and swt guys........


13 February 2013

image



BABA JI SAYS

BABA JI SAYS...........................................


Following are the pearls gathered from the entire shivir:

~ God can be reached with simplicity and bhaav and not any show-offs. 
~ My sadhna has been for don’t know how many years, but whenever when I threw away wisdom and focused on my bhaav, I went into Samadhi. 
~ If you feel that you and God are separate, then God can never be found. 
~ You will find God every single day if you are able to live in the strong feeling that God is always with you, that whenever you call She will come, that you don’t have to get worried, that whatever is happening in your life is happening for your ultimate good and for you to learn from it. 
~ To explain this in depth, Babaji narrated a story.  A poor farmer once approached a pandit, who had fooled him saying He meets with Lord Shiva everyday. The farmer always had this strong urge to see Lord Shiva and when asked how could he also meet God, the pandit dismissed him off saying one has to offer the Lord bhog (meal offering) before having his meals. The simpleton taking the pandit’s advise seriously, went to the temple near his farm and sat besides the Shiva Linga and before eating his food, he offered a share of it to the Lord  For him offering bhog meant that the Lord would himself come in person to partake it. Nothing happened.  The simple farmer continued toiling his farm without eating food as He wondered why the bhog remained untouched and why the Lord was not coming. This went on for days, but on the fifth day Lord Shiva appeared from the Shivalinga and sat besides him. The farmer was very happy and at the same time angry and asked the Lord what took Him so many days to come whereas He would come to the pandit everyday. The Lord pleased with his utmost simplicity promised him that He would come everyday to have food. The farmer immediately excitedly asked the Lord to have the rotis and onions that was kept for him stating that the Lord would not feel hungry. When the farmer met the pandit, he expressed his gratitude to him for helping him know how to meet God, to which the pandit was perplexed and asked what was he talking about. The famer revealed all that had happened and also added that currently he was even bringing more quantity of food with double-roti so that Lord Shiva was contended and that after the Lord ate, he would eat his meals. The pandit told him that since so many years he was regularly involved in the worship of Lord Shiva, but he never even had a glimpse of Him and here is this farmer who actually sits and eats food with him. Babaji mentioned here that the farmer thought it was the offering of food that made the Lord come but in reality it was his very simple, sincere yet strong bhaav of love and belief that made even the Lord of Lords come to him.
~ I am telling you what ShivYog is.  Merging with the infinite.  ShivYog is your emotions and intentions. If your intentions are intense and pure then you will certainly meet Him. 
~ Once I went to a place where there was a temple of Lord Shiva that was built by the pandavas and on top of the mountain was a Siddha’s cave.  A villager went to the Siddha and pleaded that he too wished to become like him. The Siddha asked them to close their eyes and sit besides him and that they would get the wisdom. The villager asked how would he ever be able to know that he has received the wisdom. The Siddha picked up a small stone and asked him to keep it in his mouth and that the day the stone would become mishri (candy), he would know that he has received it all. A few years passed and his wisdom eventually increased.  The sadhna (of merging) had given him everything. 
~ I repeat again - all the wisdom of scriptures and mantras are within you.  When your sense organs turn from outward to inward you begin receiving it. 
~ My Guru had told me not to read books; but that I am the book myself and that I have to go within. The wisdom includes the wisdom of merging with the infinite. I got the wisdom. I did not read books but only did sadhna and did noble deeds as advised by my Guru. 
~ If you ask a learned person what is the noblest pious deed he may ask you to take a dip in the Ganges, go on pilgrimage, etc. .. these also are good deeds for sure but what my Guru told me was that the noblest action (karma) was to feed the hungry. 
~ You only have to bring in the sincere bhaav, He is the doer, He will provide with everything.
~ A real devotee of God is not the one who eyewashes, who read four holy verses, who rings the bell, but a true ShivYogi is the who gets involved and assists in the welfare of the creation of the creator with full of love. 
~ Get inolved in Go Seva; I am not talking religion here but I am talking to you about spirituality, about ShivYog because the cow is involved in the balance of nature and you helping cows means you are automatically helping this process. 
~ You who are doing Shakti sadhna will see a constant change in your thoughts and behavior and reactions to incidents in daily life. 
~ My dear ShivYog sadhaks, be persistent in your sadhna and if you wish to increase your energies, change your attitude (emotions) towards sadhna and the Divine. That is shraddha, bhakti and vishwaas. (trust, devotion and faith) towards God. 
~ Start conversing at least first, start asking at least.  Don’t ask once and leave, be consistent in your emotion and prayers. 
~ This should be our bhaav, but our bhaav instead is on ‘How can I trouble that person? How can I make others feel inferior? How can I show others how powerful I am? 
~ Inumerable Siddhas have come into your life since so many lifetimes and all of them have come with just that one purpose that you don’t wander off the path and that you finally merge with Him. 
~ Now after you learn how to organize Maata Ki Chowki, go and enjoy it. Organize Maata Ki Chowki in your localities. You have been organizing DJ parties and drinks, now organize Maata Ki Chowki. 
~ I strongly request you to quit alcohol. This is one major cause of downfall and negative energies get dominant with it.
~ Take His name in these hours atleast because God knows for the rest of the hours what all do you speak and what all your think with your mind.  And, thinking and speaking inferior things is invoking the evil.
~ Dedicate 2-3 hours out of your 24 hours in purifying your Self with sadhna, seva and sankirtan. 

12 February 2013

गायत्री मंत्र: के जप से हमें यह लाभ प्राप्त होते हैं..

गायत्री मंत्र: ऊँ भूर्भुव: स्व: तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि धियो यो न: प्रचोदयात्।

शास्त्रों के अनुसार गायत्री मंत्र को वेदों को सर्वश्रेष्ठ मंत्र बताया गया है। इस मंत्र जप के लिए तीन समय बताए गए हैं। इन तीन समय को संध्याकाल भी कहा जाता हैं। गायत्री मंत्र का जप का पहला समय है प्रात:काल, सूर्योदय से थोड़ी देर पहले मंत्र जप शुरू किया जाना चाहिए। जप सूर्योदय के पश्चात तक करना चाहिए।

मंत्र जप के लिए दूसरा समय है दोपहर मध्यान्ह का। दोपहर में भी इस मंत्र का जप किया जाता है। इसके बाद तीसरा समय है शाम को सूर्यास्त के कुछ देर पहले मंत्र जप शुरू करके सूर्यास्त के कुछ देर बाद तक जप करना चाहिए। इन तीन समय के अतिरिक्त यदि गायत्री मंत्र का जप करना हो तो मौन रहकर या मानसिक रूप से जप करना चाहिए। मंत्र जप अधिक तेज आवाज में नहीं करना चाहिए।

गायत्री मंत्र-
ऊँ भूर्भुव: स्व: तत्सवितुर्वरेण्यं भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि। धियो यो न: प्रचोदयात्।।
गायत्री मंत्र का अर्थ: सृष्टिकर्ता प्रकाशमान परामात्मा के तेज का हम ध्यान करते है, वह परमात्मा का तेज हमारी बुद्धि को सद्मार्ग की ओर चलने के लिए प्रेरित करें।
शास्त्रों में इसके जाप की विधि विस्तृत रूप से दी गई हैं। इस मंत्र को जाप करने के लिए रुद्राक्ष की माला का प्रयोग करना श्रेष्ठ होता है।

इस मंत्र के जप से हमें यह दस लाभ प्राप्त होते हैं...
उत्साह एवं सकारात्मकता, त्वचा में चमक आती है, तामसिकता से घृणा होती है, परमार्थ में रूचि जागती है, पूर्वाभास होने लगता है, आर्शीवाद देने की शक्ति बढ़ती है, नेत्रों में तेज आता है, स्वप्र सिद्धि प्राप्त होती है, क्रोध शांत होता है, ज्ञान की वृद्धि होती है।


विद्यार्थीयों के लिए-
गायत्री मंत्र का जप सभी के लिए उपयोगी है किंतु विद्यार्थियों के लिए तो यह मंत्र बहुत लाभदायक है। रोजाना इस मंत्र का एक सौ आठ बार जप करने से विद्यार्थी को सभी प्रकार की विद्या प्राप्त करने में आसानी होती है। विद्यार्थियों को पढऩे में मन नहीं लगना, याद किया हुआ भूल जाना, शीघ्रता से याद न होना आदि समस्याओं से निजात मिल जाती है।

दरिद्रता के नाश के लिए-
यदि किसी व्यक्ति के व्यापार, नौकरी में हानि हो रही है या कार्य में सफलता नहीं मिलती, आमदनी कम है तथा व्यय अधिक है तो उन्हें गायत्री मंत्र का जप काफी फायदा पहुंचाता है। शुक्रवार को पीले वस्त्र पहनकर हाथी पर विराजमान गायत्री माता का ध्यान कर गायत्री मंत्र के आगे और पीछे श्रीं सम्पुट लगाकर जप करने से दरिद्रता का नाश होता है। इसके साथ ही रविवार को व्रत किया जाए तो ज्यादा लाभ होता है।

BABAJI's golden words of offering gratitude for each and every person who have given you for a happiness

BABAJI's golden words of offering gratitude for each and every person who have given you for a happiness . .

We must have to practise a ''GRATITUDE CEREMONY'' at the end of the day by simply offering gratitude for whatever we achieved in a day like
i am thankful for the day
i am grateful for the peace u gave me
i am thankful for the love u gave me
i am thankful for the food u gave me
i am thankful for the stability u gave me
i am grateful for the protection u gave me
i am thankful for the ______ (whtever u achieved good) u gave me
i am grateful for the guidance i receive from u
i am thankful for your divine connection . . .
hey SHIV-SHIVA hey GURU '' I LOVE U SOO MUCH ''
NAMAH SHIVAYA

HOW TO REDUCE WEIGHT NATURALLY

===== == HOW TO REDUCE WEIGHT NATURALLY !!!!!=

Obesity can RISK your health,Reduce your Weight by Natural Way- 10 Effective Home Remedies for Losing Weight ~

1) Fruits and green vegetables are low caloriefoods, so over weight persons should use these more frequently.

2) One should avoid intake of too much salt. Salt may be a factor for increasing the body weight.

3) Milk products like cheese, butter should be avoided because these are rich in fat. Meat and non-vegetarian foods should also be avoided.

4) Spices like dry ginger, cinnamon, black pepper etc. are good for loosing weight and can be used in a number of ways.

5) Vegetables like bitter gourd (Karela), and bitter variety of drumstick are useful for loosing weight.

6) Taking of honey is an excellent home remedy for obesity. It mobilizes the extra deposited fat in the body and puts it into circulation, which is utilized as energy for normal functions. One should start with small quantity of about 10 GMs. or a table spoonful to be taken with hot water. It is good to take it in early morning. A teaspoonful of fresh lemon juice may also be added.

7) Cabbage is considered to be an effective remedy for loosing weight. This vegetable inhibits the conversion of sugar and other carbohydrates into fat. Hence, it is of great value in weight reduction. It can be taken raw or cooked.

8) Exercise is an important part of weight reduction plan. It helps to use up calories stored in body as fat. In addition, it also relieves tension and tones up the muscles of the body. Walking is thebest exercise to begin with and may be followed by running, swimming, rowing.

9) Lime juice is excellent for weight reduction. Juice of a lime mixed in a glass of warm water and sweetened with honey should be taken every morning on an empty stomach.

10) Measure the portions of your food every meal and make sure that the portions are small. For example one portion of rice should not be more than the quantity which can fit in your fist. Smaller meals at a regular interval of 4 to 5 hours will keep your metabolism high and prevent your body from converting the food you intake into fat. You must also include regular exercise
in your daily routine to help enhance weight reduction..

07 February 2013

image


IT,S TRUE......

IT,S TRUE......
A painful moment
comes when u
get
close with a person
And one day the
Person suddenly try to
avoid u......
And your heart wants
To go and Talk To that
Person
But your Ego Doesn't
allow you...


========================

If a person loves U, U shuld be
thankful to that person. 

U Know why ?
B'coz
there's a lot of people who love
that person..more than U.

 But
still that person ..
choose to love U

JUST LAUGH.........

JUST LAUGH.........

College life is awesome with
Freindzz.....!! ! LATE HONE PE :
"Sale Aaj Bunk nahi tha"?
"Attendence ho gayi kya...."
"Agar pata hota ki iska period
hai
to mai aata hi nahi" .
CLASS ME :
"Uski t-shirt pe kya likha hai
dekh"
"1 page de na.... abe pen bhi to
de,kam se kam hath me ... kuch to ho!"
"Tujhe bhukh nahi lag rahi kya"
"Kya yaar paka raha hai ye
professor toh"
. "AFTER EXAMS":
"Jo choda tha sala vahi aa
gaya".
.
ASSIGNMENT COPY:
"Yeh kya likha hai ??" "Jo word samaj aa rha hai vo
likhde kutte,
jo nhi aa raha uska aise hi
design
bana de".
How many"Likes"for dis college Life :
==================================================
Kavi ka beta School Me
Teacher :- what is Noun?
.
Student :- Arz karta hoon,
.
Kutta bhi hota Hai apni gali mein king, Wah wah...
Kutta Bhi Hota hai Apni gali mein King.
.
Noun is a Name Of any person, place or thing.
Old but gold ...
=====================================================

Girl: Pados wali Aunty mujhe bohat tang karti hain..
Jab b kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti
“AB TUMHARI BARI HAI”
Phir maine un ki ye aadat khatam karwa di.
Friend: Kaise ?
Girl: Jab koi Mar jata tou main unk Gaal kheench k kehti..
“AB AAP KI BARI HAI” XD
=========================================================

Classic examples for students of
different age groups :-
.
.
1st to 3rd class - hey ! I studied
everything for exam
.
.
4th to 6th class - hey ! That
question was very hard so i leave
only that question
.
.
7th to 10th class
- hey ! Read only
important questions .
.
.
11th class
- i think 4 chapters are
enough 2 get pass .
.
.
12th class
- kal exam kaun sa hai
yaar ?
.
.
And in college
- saalo bata to dete
aaj exam hai, main toh pen bhi
nahi laya
======================================================
Cylinder ki lambi line dekh kar
pappu gusse me bola :
Abhi PM k Pichwade pe laat maar
ke aata hun
...
kuccch der baaad wo wapas line
mein laga ...
Dost ne puccha -
Maar aaya? ?
Pappu :
waha isse bhi lambi line lagi
hai ....
===================================================
Only a Man understands another
Man..
.
Customer- I want to buy a Ladies
Watch
.
.
.
.
Shopkeeper- Sir, wife keliye
chahiye ya
Branded dikhaun...!?! 
===================================================
1 Pinjre me kuch totey ek Toti
ko
6ed rahe the.
Jabki dusre pinjre me 1 ota puja
or
dusra tota Namaz padh raha
tha,
Malik ne socha "kitne nek tote
he,
inke pinjre me toti safe rhegi" Usne toti ko nek toto ke pinjre
me
dal diya.
Jab toti us pinjre me gai to puja
karne wala tota Namaz padhne
wale tote se bola..
"Utho Khan sahab dua qubool
ho
gai...
Apni Item aa gai".
==================================================
Kidnapper phone par:
Teri biwi mere kabze mein hai.
saboot ke taur par uski do ungliyan bhijwa di hain.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: Sabut pakka nahi hai, mundi bhej mundi..:xP